The Daily Truth

For the fourth time in the last four months, Beautify CNMI! has had an unexpected volunteer roll up her sleeves and assist. Mother Nature has stepped in to help with the Beautify CNMI! efforts in the Marianas. This month she sent us Tropical Storm 23W to clean out all of the roadside billboard junk that has been littering the island. "It is the political season and as usual we see a lift in road side littering.", say Mother Nature, "This is to be expected and I am always there to sweep in and clean it up."

Nature showed us some historical data that indicated in the past she used to send the clean up crews of storms through this region in early February. Over the past 30 years however she made some adjustments to align with the election campaigning months. She did indicate that she was surprised by the determination of the litter bugs. "No matter how far I throw their crappy signs and billboards, they are back up in about a week like clockwork.", she said with a frown, "They put 'em up, I will keep knocking them down. Eventually they will get the message that the billboards are an eyesore and as far as I am concerned a littering violation."

I attempted to get some of the various campaign chairmen to respond to the accusation made by Nature of littering but was unable. The one office that did pick up the phone said that they could not be bothered right now as they were securing the few remaining billboards that were not tossed to sea overnight as the storm passed.

In other 'campaign sign' related news, J. Maritita is still very upset at the sign vandals that keep defacing her billboards. she issued a statement yesterday warning everyone that if caught she will send boys San Antonio to kick their asses.