Maid in Saipan


I can't write anything nearly as funny as this!

http://mvarietynews.com/cnmi-news/local/21442-kaipat-no-maids-provision-anti-women.html




Too Good To Be Archived

Here is a little exchange that took place on an online site yesterday. I went back to see it and found out that it is nearly impossible to find. I think it needs more prominent exposure. Especially since it so blatantly displays the arrogance and the double standards of our current administration. [sidenote: I loved the fact that SaipanDailyYapper also caught the line the Governor used at the debate in which he outrigth admitted to violating our constitutional checks and balances.]

From the 'It's Not a Friendly System' story on the Variety, comments section in the 10/28/09 edition:

[start comments]

from Newswatcher 2009-10-28 13:21
How does the Transparency Queen, Tina Sablan, feel about a 30 day comment period followed by an immediate implementation of the rule whether the victim (us) likes it or not, comments or not or just plainly says no?

After all, the imposer in this case is her role model and secular God, the US Government.As expected, this is another ramrod job by the guys-with-a-gun.



from TheTruthHurts 2009-10-28 15:09
Newswatcher,

You have some serious issues. Learn to think for yourself. November 28th is the start of the TRANSITION phase. The DRAFT INTERIM regulations that have been sent out for comments will affect what occurs during the 5 YEAR transitional phase. So the regulations will undoubtedly be altered in the coming months and years. So make comments if you (the victim) feels like you have problems with the regs. I (not a victim) will too.

Why not just admit it. You are upset that the Federal government is working with the CNMI. You are mad that they are ready. You are livid that they are reasonable. You are angry because your control over the guest workers in the CNMI is coming to an end.

See you at the Town Hall Meeting on Friday evening!

Hey Newswatcher, how do you feel about the ramrod job that Fitial is still doing to all of us?

You know the Federalization lawsuit.

The one he rammed down all of our throats without our consent.

The one that the legislature outright opposed and did not fund with tax payer money.

The one that the AG did not sign off on and did not even know about.

The one that we still don't know how much truly cost all of us.

The one that had cost us at least $1.3 million dollars for the first 6 months.

The one that even Jenner said would not have a shot at being successful.

The one that has our names (The Commonwealth) as the plaintiff even though a clear majority 80+% do not support it.

How do you like them apples, Newswatcher?

Have you overlooked this as you attack the federal government drafting regulations and asking for comments?

Answer me this, Newswatcher. When did FITIAL ever put the lawsuit online prior to filing it so that WE THE COMMONWEALTH could comment?! When were we allowed ANY INPUT as citizens. Fitial needs to learn how a democracy works from the Feds and this and all the other comment periods.

His days of tyranny are numbered.



[end comments]





Mother Nature Assists Beautify CNMI!


by The Truth Reporter

Beautify CNMI! was started years ago in order to bring the community together to clean up the CNMI. Weekly clean-ups and tree plantings occur on a monthly basis from one end of the island to the other. All of the participants in Beautify CNMI! are volunteers. "They take their time off from work or play and spend a couple hours every month helping make this place Beautiful!", said Mr. Golynuk the spokesman for the group.

For the fourth time in the last four months, Beautify CNMI! has had an unexpected volunteer roll up her sleeves and assist. Mother Nature has stepped in to help with the Beautify CNMI! efforts in the Marianas. This month she sent us Tropical Storm 23W to clean out all of the roadside billboard junk that has been littering the island. "It is the political season and as usual we see a lift in road side littering.", say Mother Nature, "This is to be expected and I am always there to sweep in and clean it up."

Nature showed us some historical data that indicated in the past she used to send the clean up crews of storms through this region in early February. Over the past 30 years however she made some adjustments to align with the election campaigning months. She did indicate that she was surprised by the determination of the litter bugs. "No matter how far I throw their crappy signs and billboards, they are back up in about a week like clockwork.", she said with a frown, "They put 'em up, I will keep knocking them down. Eventually they will get the message that the billboards are an eyesore and as far as I am concerned a littering violation."

I attempted to get some of the various campaign chairmen to respond to the accusation made by Nature of littering but was unable. The one office that did pick up the phone said that they could not be bothered right now as they were securing the few remaining billboards that were not tossed to sea overnight as the storm passed.

In other 'campaign sign' related news, J. Maritita is still very upset at the sign vandals that keep defacing her billboards. she issued a statement yesterday warning everyone that if caught she will send boys San Antonio to kick their asses.




Part One of Fitial's DPS Plan: Completed Successfully

The Truth Reporter

Although it caught our own Daily Truth reporter by surprise, it appears that today's
protest by DPS officers was actually a planned press conference. According to Administration officials the 10:00am scheduled photo opportunity and press conference was held as planned at the Administration Building. It included DPS officials and the Governor. The 30 officers and their family members showed up with a list of demands and media reporters followed.

Press Secretary Reyes thanked all those in attendance and received the list of demands from the officers. "It was very successful. This is once again in line with the Governor's plan. We have thoroughly destroyed all ounces of credibility with upper management at DPS. We scheduled this conference to ensure that the entire public would see just how bad things are at DPS. We asked the officers to show up with placards and bullhorns so that the public would be fully aware of the mess that this administration had caused." He went on to specify, "I use the past-tense 'had' because that is only the first stage of the bigger plan." Reyes informed the media that they will be holding another press conference on Nov 5th.

Reyes stated, "The November 5th Press Conference will be held at DPS and will focus primarily on photo shoot opportunities." The media learned that they will have the Governor being lifted up by the officers that were here today. He will be smiling as will the officers. He will give each officer a big hug and a banner will be held up that says "DPS Fixed By Fitial!".

Reyes warned, "we can't get too ahead of ourselves. The governor will first issue the State of Emergency for DPS tomorrow. This will allow him to shift over ARRA funds to generate the needed morale boost for the force. Homestead application are yet to be completed by the irked officers and we are still running into problems with a few that are refusing our 'happying' efforts."

We tried to contact the officers that marched up to the hill but were unable to. DPS informed us that they were all meeting privately with the Governor and could not be disturbed.

A few legislators did comment but asked not to be identified. They said "This is terrible. These officers deserve more. This administration's mismanagement has caused a disaster. We need to look into the serious allegations of nepotism and corruption that have been brought up and conduct a thorough desk audit." They attempted to continue but were cut short when they over heard the information released by Reyes. "Oh hell! Not again!" was all they ended with.

We have been informed that the public is welcome to attend the November 5 photo opportunity.




CNMI Visitor Industry Saved by … Who?

by The Truth Reporter

Asked about his thoughts on the recent announcement of the Parole for Russian and Chinese visitors Fitial said, “I always knew they would be given parole. Half of our tourist from China are already on parole for drug smuggling, human traffiking or other charges they had in the past in their own country.” Press Secretary Reyes was quick to chime in with, “By parole he means ‘patrol’ and by drug smuggling he means ‘smuggling the dealing’ and by… oh hell. I give up!”

Basically, the Administration has always followed a set and precise plan. They have not waivered from implementing this plan. We need only look back at the Marianas Monument to see how great the plan works when executed properly and when all things are spun correctly. The Governor was adamantly opposed to the Monument and went on record to state he may bring a lawsuit against them if they tried. He fought hard against the Feds and when it appeared he would not win his battle at the eleventh hour he jump sides and became to flag bearer and poster child for the monument.

We see the similarities today with the China-Russia Visa Waiver. He has adamantly opposed Federalization and has stifled communication. He has not actively participated in dialogue with the Federal authorities and brought a lawsuit against them. He has actively criticized the Federal agencies in charge of implementation, calling them liars and imputing ill motives on their agencies.

But as of today, now that it is becoming very clear that his temper tantrum throwing is not going to get him anywhere he has once again implemented his solid plan of flip flopping and taking credit from where it is truly deserved.

Reyes said, “Fitial would like to remind the community that if it was not for all of his hard work and diplomacy we would not have been given this concession by the Federal Government. He worked tirelessly negotiating the terms of this parole status with all of the top Federal players. He lost sleep and drinking time writing out terms.”

When asked if he will now drop the lawsuit with the Federal Government Fitial responded with a firm, "Hell NO! How would I be able to transfer large sums of tax payer dollars out of the CNMI before my term is up if I did that?" He did state that he would consider dropping it once his declaration that Finance is in a State of EMERGENCY is released later this week and he takes over full control of all of the funds.

He says the delay in the declaration is due to his toss up on whether to declare just Finance an Emergency or go for the full gusto and declare the Island of Saipan under a State of Emergency. He has opted for keeping it simple for now and containing it to Finance.

As of today, a State of Emergency is in effect and has been issued by Fitial for the following areas:

  • CHC
  • CUC
  • DPS
  • DPL
  • CPA
  • DCCA
  • Woman's Affairs
  • Indigenous Affairs
  • Mayors Offices on all islands
  • The Island of Tinian
  • The Island of Rota
  • FDM
  • Island of MAUG
  • Commonwealth Dart Association
  • DFW
  • DEQ
  • The Governor's Office
  • Legislative Bureau
  • Manamko Center
  • All Public Schools (except SSH)
  • Marpi Landfill
  • Northern reef exposures
  • Chamber of Commerce
  • HANMI
  • BANMI
  • Farmers Co-Op
  • Fisherman's Association
  • All Road-Side Vendors (including BBQ huts)

We contacted DHS, OIA, all of the sitting US Senators and Congressmen for a comment on the lengthy and fruitful discussions they have had with Governor Fitial and we received the same exact response from all of them, “Who the hell is Governor Ben Fitial? Oh.. garment ..labor… errr.. .lawsuit… uhmm…[cough] Excuse me. Nope sorry don’t know him. Never talked to him.” They all requested that their names and official titles not be place within 1,000 feet of this news article.


---





COMMUNITY SCENE: What's a Motto You?

by The Truth Reporter

Let It Be! Don't Stop Believing! No Surcharge! Experience - Hard Work - Solutions!

We decided to head out and about in the community and get peoples' take on the different catch phrases that each of the Gubernatorial Candidates are using:

***********************************************
John Rommerartti: I don't much care for talk. That is all that these mottos are. Just talk. For example, what does "let it be" mean anyway? Let CHC be the way it is? Let Retirement Fund Be the way it is? Let crime be? I mean we have BEen for 4 years. I don't want it to BE anymore.

***********************************************
Cathy Guarto: I don't even pay attention to the posters and boards. I have learned to block them out. Zoning needs to chop 'em all down.

***********************************************
Fredrocko Camacho: My slogan is "NO B.S." These jokers are all BS.

***********************************************
Charles Reyes Jr.: I really think the best motto is "Let It Be!" It really conveys the spirit of a true leader. A leader that can step back and honestly assess where the CNMI is today - a thriving and successful Commonwealth. The Motto "Let it BE!" tells the community of voters that if you elect Ben and Tim... I mean Eloy, it will BE business as usual and you can expect the same success you have experienced these past 4 years for many more years to come! I like to think of the BE to mean more than names. To me as a voter it means Beyond Eternity!




ADMINISTRATION UPSET AND WILL NOT MOVE ON

by The Truth Reporter


The current Administration is extremely upset at a carry over from the previous administration that he believes is responsible for this controversy.

“After looking into this Reyes incident more thoroughly it is clear now,” said Charles, “that a former Babauta appointee from the previous administration is responsible for everything.” Fitial is furious that his initial desk audit of political loyalist did not turn up this individual who is responsible for this current incident when he took office. “At that time I put in place my buddies in every department. Their mission was simple. Check all staff and remove anyone tied to any party other than the Covenant Green party. I was assured this had been done! I am appalled that one slipped through. Heads are going to roll.” He went on to say, “ after the Local DPS covert and surprise drug bust slated for Friday at 2:00pm he will assemble the one remaining department head and all acting department heads and find out who is responsible.”

Reporters have discovered that the person that is the focus of Fitial’s anger is one Joe Senpasdot. He apparently was put in charge of destroying public records and inadvertently forgot to burn all outstanding drug test results and inter department evaluations and communications. We contacted him for a response but he was unavailable at the time. His wife however is asking for the community's help. It appears he has been missing since this story broke 5 days ago.

Fitial asked that we include a quote from him in this article. “This is just another negative result of Federalization. Please, DEA do not bring charges against Pete Reyes. Like me, he is allergic to lawsuits. Let it BE!”


***




Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)